Growing Up

I am currently in my last week of student teaching. I completed my full week of teaching last week, my portfolio has been turned in and graded, I have my final grade and evaluation from mentor teacher and my supervisor. I should be happy and relieved that my college career is coming to a successful end, but.....

I am scared. I am scared of not being in school everyday and I am scared of the “real world.” What am I going to do? Where am I going to go?

I have had two job interviews so far. One for a BS1, which I got, and another for a long-term sub position, which I am pretty sure I didn’t get. I have decided that from those two experiences that I HATE INTERVIEWS! They make me nervous, stressed out, and sick to my stomach. At the risk of sounding like an old lady, I just want to be settled already! I want a job that I love and can keep until I am ready to retire. I know that is idealistic (and probably not possible), but that is what I want more than anything right now.

My supervisor has been there to hear me vent about student teaching, as well as the inevitable job hunt. She brought up something interesting yesterday. She said, “You aren’t alone anymore. You have another person to think about.” That comment made it sound like I had a child to worry about! She is right though, I do have Matt to think about.
Matt wants to move to Seattle. We don’t know when and we don’t know how. Something I hate more than interviews is not knowing. Teaching requires a one year contract to be signed upon being hired. We can’t move half way through the school year. We can’t move now (no money). We can’t move this summer (still no money). AHHH!

The future is something that should excite me. Matt and I will have a family, a house, good jobs etc. Why is it so stressful now?