The Curse of Perfectionism

Matt thinks I am a perfectionist. Sometimes I agree with him. We have come to the joint conclusion that everyone is a perfectionist in one way or another, some of us just have more ways.

Me? I want to be the best and most prepared teacher, the best and most prepared parent, and the best and most prepared wife. I have spent countless hours researching the field of education, preparing boxes of materials for my future classroom, and writing lesson plans for my future students. I cut articles out of parenting magazines on throwing the best birthday parties, I have baby names picked out, and I know exactly what to expect when I am expecting.

I obsess over things and want them to be perfect. I attempt to control everything, even the uncontrollable. I want it to be perfect.

I am currently in a cooking/baking stage. I am making everything from scratch, muffins, soups, breads...everything. It is fantastic and I am pleased with it so far. Matt on the other hand, worries that I am over-doing it. That I am stressing myself out for no reason. Don't you know that you can buy pre-made, already sliced bread at the grocery store? My own bread that I kneaded with my own hands tastes better to me. Is that so wrong?

This phase is new so I am still allowing for mistakes in my perfectionism. I threw out an entire batch of apple oatmeal muffins because, although they smelled delicious, it was noticeable that the cover to the nutmeg fell off and spilled in my batter. I was upset that I wasted all those ingredients, but I am allowing for a learning curve, and I will do better next time. Making mistakes gives me something to strive for.

Tonight, for instance, I made pumpkin muffins (my second attempt) and I made cream cheese frosting to put in them. The frosting I made last time left much to be desired so I tried a new recipe. This one was fantastic! But...I had way too much frosting left over. Instead of getting upset that I had an excess of leftovers, I am going to make a carrot cake tomorrow to bring to my in-laws. I am making the proverbial lemonade from my lemons.

Perfectionism or not, I am constantly striving to be better.